The Nude Statesman

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Man Stalking Woman: “This Would be Totally Romantic in a Movie”

OMAHA, NE - Jeremy Franks was arrested for the sixth time in two weeks after he was seen crouching in the bushes outside of Marie Osgood’s Lower East Side apartment early this morning. Osgood’s next door neighbor called the police because she said she knew Osgood had a restraining order against him. “Plus that boy’s too handsome for his own good,” the neighbor added.

Franks, a six-foot-five dark haired, dark eyed tall drink of water, argued that “breaking the law for love” is a normal trope in romantic films.

“Her parents locked the front door, so I climbed up the balcony, just like Romeo! You can’t get more romantic than that,” yelled Franks as he was placed in the police car.

Osgood claimed she was familiar with Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, and yet still did not find Frank’s behavior as anything but “creepy.”

Osgood’s friend Cynthia Hargood, who has been with Osgood throughout the stalking ordeal, privately mentioned that “Jeremy is dreamy,” and she betted if he would just give her a chance instead, she “could really change him from an abusive boyfriend into a sweetheart.” 

Filed under stalking movies tropes romance